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Married couple now communicating solely through light switches


A London couple, married for eight years and with two children, now only make their feelings known to each other by going around the house turning lights on and off.
Steve and Debbie Jones of Bexley haven’t spoken a word for almost eight weeks and instead use the wall switches to make it clear to their partner just how angry or upset they are.
“For some reason Debbie needs to have every single light in the entire house on at any one time,” explained Steve to us, angrily hitting the switch on the wall to turn off the bedroom light. “Apparently electricity is free now, so why not, I mean it’s not like I get an enormous fucking bill to deal with at the end of the month.”
“Well apparently it’s now acceptable to live in almost total darkness,” countered Debbie loudly as she marched into the bedroom and turned the light back on again, before walking out.
“It’s cool if the kids bang their heads on a dresser because they can’t see anything right?”

There have been signs of compromise however. Debbie celebrated Steve’s birthday last week by allowing him to keep the big light in the living room off until almost 9pm, while he made allowances for their wedding anniversary by not visibly seething when she kept the light above the cooker on as a ‘night light.’

The pair are now looking into whether any common ground can be found by installing dimmer switches.




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